


Just draw it as you think of it, I love you up to the future

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Awkwardness, Coming Out, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 13:46:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14473986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: On one side the fact that he had accepted right away was positive; on the other, nevertheless, he still thought it was normal under these circumstances. After all, they had shared a room in a dormitory for six years, so it was pretty logical that Yabu didn’t see anything weird in a simple lunch date, that he wasn’t thinking there was something behind it.As, actually, there was.





	Just draw it as you think of it, I love you up to the future

Hikaru was fidgeting.

He couldn’t believe what he was about to do.

That morning, as soon as he had woken up, he had felt immediately sick, and he had wished he could’ve gone back to sleep.

But he knew he couldn’t.

He had asked Yabu over to lunch, that day.

He had moved in to that apartment a couple weeks before, and the elder still hadn’t been there, because of the exhausting schedule and various engagements keeping him busy most of the time.

When two days before he had stopped him in the hallway of the NHK and had asked him if he wanted to have lunch together at his new place, he almost hadn’t hoped that he would’ve accepted.

But Yabu had shown quite glad of the invitation, he had told him when he was going to be free and they had made plans.

Yaotome didn’t know how to take his enthusiasm.

On one side the fact that he had accepted right away was positive; on the other, nevertheless, he still thought it was normal under these circumstances. After all, they had shared a room in a dormitory for six years, so it was pretty logical that Yabu didn’t see anything weird in a simple lunch date, that he wasn’t thinking there was something behind it.

As, actually, there was.

The night before Hikaru had come back home exhausted by the rehearsals of the choreography for the new song, but he hadn’t gone to sleep right away.

He had sat down at his desk, had took out a notebook and had started writing.

He had written down all he had felt during the past years, he had written down all the feelings Yabu’s closeness had always given him, had written all that went through his mind, baring himself on that paper as he had never thought he could’ve done.

Then he had folded the paper and put it in an envelope.

He hadn’t had the courage to read it again.

He felt horribly ashamed about it, but he knew there were no alternatives.

He had always loved Kota, since he had first met him.

But until they had shared a room, he had never found the courage to do anything about it.

He didn’t want to be rejected and then been forced to see him day after day.

He didn’t want to be mocked, or for the other to be disgusted by it, if he hadn’t had a place to run to and hide.

For these exact reasons he had never said a thing, beginning with the fact that he liked men.

They had never talked about each other’s sexual preferences, so it was likely that Yabu had just taken for granted that he was straight.

Just like, it was sad to admit, Hikaru was convinced of the same about him.

But it wasn’t time to hesitate anymore, not to pull back in front of the responsibilities he had toward himself.

He had brought that love inside far too long, and he couldn’t afford to wait anymore, or he would’ve imploded.

That, for him, would’ve been judgement’s day.

 

~

 

When he had heard the doorbell ringing, he had been on the verge of a panic attack.

He still wasn’t used to having to care for the house on his own, so even the easy task of making yakisoba had confused him.

He was about to finish chopping the pork to put it in the pan with the vegetables and the soba, when that sharp ring had made him jump.

With his heart now beating way too fast, he had tried to act fast.

He had run to his room to grab the letter, so to be sure to have it at hand. He had put it down next to the sink, careful not to let it fall victim of the sprays of water, running to wash the last vegetable.

Quickly, he threw the poorly chopped meat in the pan, distractedly letting the bone fall into the sink, next to the bowl with the cabbage and the scallion.

And then, finally, he had gone to the door.

Yabu was smiling.

“Hi, Kota.” he said, a nervous smile. “I’m sorry I’ve kept you waiting, but I’ve put the meat on, so we won’t have to wait too long to eat.” he said, confusedly.

The elder raised an eyebrow, perplexed by his friend’s tension. Then he shrugged, taking off his jacked and his shoes.

“Don’t worry, Hikka, it’s been just a minute.” he replied. “Are you making anything good?” he asked then, following him to the living room.

“Yakisoba.” said Hikaru, while the elder looked around and made appreciations about the apartment, about how Hikka had furnished it, and the small details as he noticed them.

He looked so at ease that Hikaru couldn’t help but feeling better.

“Would you like something to drink?” he asked, after a few minutes.

“Just a glass of water, thanks.” the other replied, so Hikaru went back to the kitchen.

Once in, it took a lot for him not to faint.

Just for a moment though, because the next second he shrieked, and Yabu ran in from the living room.

“Hikka, what...” he started, but looking at the picture in front of him he kept quiet.

The sink had to have gotten obstructed, somehow. Hikaru bit his lip, thinking about the meat’s bone.

The water wasn’t too much, but enough to fill the sink, the counter and part of the floor around it.

He cursed, then he rolled up his trousers to the knees and reached the sink, shutting it and looking miserably around.

He took the letter, drenched, showing through ink stains.

He wanted to cry.

Yabu got close, slowly, resting a hand on his shoulder.

“I think it’s better to call a plumber, Hikka.” he said, low, as if he wanted to avoid making him even more nervous.

The younger turned to look at him and nodded.

He took the agenda where he had written down all the numbers his mother had forced him to get for emergencies, and went to take the phone.

When he got back to the kitchen he saw that Yabu had found some rags and had started drying the floor up.

“They said they have previous appointments, but that they can be here in an half hour or so.” he said, neutral. “Let it be, I’ll dry it.”

The elder shrugged, as to say it didn’t matter, then he nodded at the wet piece of paper that Hikaru was still holding in his hands.

“What was that? Something important?” he asked, and Yaotome couldn’t take it anymore.

He threw the letter on the ground, spiteful, and looked at him.

“Yes, it was important! It wasn’t easy to write it, and now it’s completely ruined. I had written down on it all I thought, but then I got nervous and now it’s all useless. I wanted to make things right, but...” he paused, looking in his eyes almost desperately. “I had written it for you, Kota. To tell you that I like men, that I’m in love with you and that I always have. Now you’re free to go, if you want.” he finished, feeling dangerously close to burst into tears.

The other kept still for a few seconds.

Then, all of a sudden, he burst out laughing.

Hard, as if he couldn’t stop, bending over the floor and wetting his clothes, not at all bothered by it.

Hikaru didn’t take it well.

He crossed his arms, going to the leaving room and hearing the other following him.

“I’m sorry! I didn’t want to laugh, but... you looked so funny there, with that letter and that exasperated look that I couldn’t help it.” he got closer, putting his hands on his shoulders to make him turn, but the other pulled away. “Can I at least give you an answer?” he asked then, his voice more controlled.

“Don’t really feel like talking.” Hikaru said between clenched teeth, then jumped when he felt the elder’s hands on his hips, pulling him closer and pressing his chest against his back.

“Who said anything about talking?” he said, purposefully sly.

Then with a quick movement he made him turn around, and pressed their lips together.

Hikaru lost the faculty to think.

They laid on the couch, still kissing, brushing each other’s skin, and he felt it was the best thing he had ever felt in his whole life.

He had lost any sense of time, so when he heard the doorbell ring he was surprised that it had already been that long, and groaned.

He went to the door, but before he turned toward Yabu to smile.

There was no need for letters, nor words.

The look on the elder’s face, its serenity, was all he needed to make tension, doubts and uncertainty go away for good.

And he was sure, he must’ve looked just the same.

They were happy, and he felt it was something he could’ve easily gotten used to it.


End file.
